::
There is the sound of laughter down the corridors of the Drama Block once more...
I find I walk once more with a bounce in my step, a smile on my face...
greeting people on corridors is no longer painful...
people think I have changed...
and I have....
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A very dear friend and colleague died at the end of the Summer term...and the loss had a huge impact on me...I realised my creativity and joy were being crushed by the weight of my job and its responsibilities...
...if I didn't do something soon... I would lose everything ....
So this summer, in my German Castle, I made the very difficult and very painful decision to relinquish my responsibilities as Head of Drama, after ten years...
.I cant tell you how afraid I felt...what thoughts tormented me...the financial loss, the lack of control and power....The ten years I had spent building the Department up, the twenty years I had spent at this school ......but once the decision had been made ... the feeling was of amazing relief and immense joy....
The space in my head which had constantly been filled with work was empty and into it came flooding back all the reasons why I became a teacher...all the happiness and fulfilment that my job had given me......
During this first week back I have been elated, every lesson has been a joy...and I feel transformed...I feel I am home...
Sometimes the hardest decisions are hard because they are worth making and sometimes...whatever our faiths or beliefs...there is a negativity that doesn't want this for us... so it fills our heads and hearts with fear....
::
You may be wondering what I plan to do with this space in my head....
well I plan...
to become...
a ...
lay preacher...
for the first time in years I have passion and purpose in my life and it feels wonderful....
I think this poem sums up how I feel we should live our lives....
and as for me...
Well its my time to dance....
::
dance
as though no one is watching you
love
as though you have never been hurt before
sing
as though no one can hear you
live
as though heaven is on earth
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